WILLIE MAYS FOR PRESIDENT

​September 24, 2016
New York City


Having wracked my brain about rendering a well-considered vote in the coming national election, I have decided to ignore the well-known lamentable imposters and vote for Mr. Willie Howard Mays, Jr., currently residing in San Francisco, California.

As you are well aware, Mr. Mays was an athletic superstar of super-galactic proportions. I and my father personally witnessed his launch of a red-threaded white sphere high over the left field roof of the late, and still lamented, Polo Grounds on 155th Street in upper Manhattan. It was May 28, 1951, a Monday evening, and 23,101 paying customers witnessed the event. It was the first of 659 additional home runs that Mr. Mays would smite over the course of his stellar career. 

Mr. Mays was twenty years old at the time of his first launching—I was newly eleven, my father forty. But there are no years when considering Willie Mays. The Polo Grounds is gone but not for me. I still see the green, green grass and Mr. Mays, always younger than springtime, sprinting to catch lamentably long drives. 

Mr. Mays, now eighty-five, was rumored (or imagined) to have been recently seen on or near 155th Street in Harlem playing stickball with numerous Afro-American youngsters. Some of them may have been children of parents that in 1996 Hillary Clinton called "super predators." Such is the abnormally dangerous nature of the likes of Hillary Clinton and her right-wing patsy opponent, both bush league frauds. 

His strength of character, instantaneous and instinctively correct decision-making under utmost pressure, and leadership skills beyond compare made my decision easy. But there is one overwhelming example of Mr. Mays' character, that stands out for all seasons. When asked whether baseball was ready for an openly gay player, Mr. Mays replied, "Can he hit?” 

Need more be said?

Mr. Mays is not only a man for all seasons but a man for our times, a man for this season, indeed for this day, this moment. He would make a great president. Don’t waste your vote. Make a statement. Be bold. Dream! It’s our only hope. Write-in "Willie Howard Mays, Jr., 24 Willie Mays Plaza, San Francisco, California" on your ballot. 

CAN HE HIT?
SAY WHAT?
SAY HEY!
WILLIE MAYS FOR PRESIDENT!

Start spreading the news! Mays is on-deck.


James C. Ryan
September 24, 2016
New York City