BRIGHTENING GLANCE
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  • SHOUTS: A Novel of Love and War
    • SCENES FROM THE NOVEL >
      • The Hub (149th Street-3rd Ave-Willis Ave-Westchester Ave)
      • Lusitania Sunk 7 May 1915
      • Fleet Week: May 1915
      • Black Tom
      • Boxing
      • Reisenweber's (Columbus Circle)
      • San Juan Hill
      • June Walk
      • The Religion of Patriotism-Max Eastman (July 1917)
      • Sonata Rondo
      • Columbia University
      • Eagle Avenue
    • Critical Praise
    • JIM RYAN MEETS JIM RYAN - Good Day New York, WNYW-TV, July 2004
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  • On Sports
    • A SENSE OF WHERE YOU ARE by John McFee
    • Baseball poetry by Lynn Rigney Schott about her father
    • Brownsville Bum
    • Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu
    • Miracle of Coogan's Bluff
    • Muhammad Ali: "Eclipse of the Sonny"
    • The Four Horsemen
    • The Green Fields of the MInd
    • The Death of a Racehorse
  • TURKEY
    • HOW TO WRITE ABOUT FASCIST TURKEY...
    • BAD TURKISH MOON ARISING
    • Eavesdropping on the Planet (in particular on Turkey) (3/29/2014)
    • Seymour M. Hersh’in 4 Nisan 2014 tarihli “The Red Line and The Rat Line” isimli yazısının Türkçe Çevirisi
    • Seymour M. Hersh on Obama, Erdoğan and the Syrian rebels (9 April 2014)
    • UNITED NATIONS AND NEW YORK TIMES CARPET BOMBED (20 September 2016)
    • THE FAKE MILITARY COUP
    • BLOOD MOON, BLOODY HANDS (15 April 2014)
    • SOMA
    • THE FATAL STATE OF LABOUR IN TURKEY (20 May 2014)
    • KILLER KOAL (14 May 2014)
    • CİHAN, TEK AT
    • CHEMICAL TAYYIP: SEYMOUR HERSH VIDEO INTERVIEW (9 April 2014)
    • A LESSON FROM NAZI GERMANY TO FASCIST TURKEY (29 March 2014)
    • TURKISH OFFICIALS PLAN FALSE-FLAG ATTACK TO CREATE PRETEXT FOR WAR WITH SYRIA (3/29/2014)
    • ANNE/MOM (MOTHERS OF THE MURDERED)
    • TODAY, ERDOĞAN SAID “GODDAMN THE GEZI PARK MOVEMENT" (26 March 2014)
    • ELECTION DAY: TURKEY’S RENDEZVOUS WITH DEATH (25 March 2014)
    • HEY TWITS, THIS TWEET’S FOR YOU (21 March 2014)
    • PEA-BRAINS ON PARADE (17 March 2014)
    • RECEP DECEIT ERDOĞAN 15 March 2014
    • TAYYIP
    • NO JUSTICE FOR BERKIN ELVAN
    • Başbakan’a mektup! (Mustafa Mutlu) 13 Mart 2014
    • GİT LAN! 13 Mart 2014
    • HEY YOU! HEY ERDOĞAN! (11 March 2014)
    • HEY SEN! HEY ERDOĞAN! (11 Mart 2014)
    • TOILET TALK FROM A FEW FASCISTS
    • THE SICK JOKE (8 March 2014)
    • OPERATION BULB BUSTER: COMBAT OPERATION ORDER (28 February 2014)
    • ERDOĞAN’S DIRTY MONTAGE (26 February 2014)
    • TURKEY'S CRIME MINISTER (25 February 2014)
    • THE SEWER (24 February 2014)
    • Erdoğan’ın 20 yıllık çıkını (23 Şubat 2014)
    • FASCISTS, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU! (21 February 2014)
    • Bipartisan Letter to President Obama on Turkey
    • INSIDE THE TIGER (13 February 2014)
    • KAPLANIN İÇİNDE (13 February 2014)
    • SNOW JOB (11 February 2014)
    • RÜŞVET DİALOGLARI
    • TURKISH SWISS "CHEESE" AND OTHER CORRUPTIONS (7/02/14)
    • TAYYIP'S TRILLIONS (4 February 2014)
    • FIGHT TURKISH AND AMERICAN FASCISM
    • Turkey's Gold-Smuggling Ring (29 January 2014) BLOOMBERG
    • BAD TURKISH MOON RISING (29 January 2014)
    • TERRORIST TURKS, DOUBLE-FACED ARABS, MURDEROUS AMERICANS, HYPOCRITES EVERYWHERE, OPENING STATEMENT, GENEVA: Walid al-Moallem - SyriaN Foreign Minister (23 January 2014
    • RECEP TAYYİP ERDOĞAN BURNS HIS REICHSTAG (16 January 2014)
    • DEVLETTİ KAYBETTİK (15 Ocak 2014)
    • "Today, our nation is in crisis." Letter to President Gül (10 January 2014)
    • Gazi Recep’in İstiklal Mücadelesi... (Bekir Coşkun) (1/8/14)
    • LIARS (4 January 2014)
    • KİMDEN YANA OLMALI? (Türker Ertürk) 4 Ocak 2014
    • YÜCE ATATÜRK (8/12/2013)
    • TREASON TIME WITH TRAVIS (25 December 2013)
    • THE FETO SHOW (22 December 2013)
    • Naci Eriş: A Hero For These Times (15 November 2013)
    • Hello America, Obama's Best Friend Has Done It Again (25 October 2013)
    • FINAL CURTAIN (16 November 2013)
    • DIVINE WRONGS (8 November 2013)
    • PIMP (14 November 2013)
    • VERY LITTLE WOMEN (1 November 2013)
    • THE FIRE THIS TIME (29 October 2013)
    • Our Invisible Revolution (Chris Hedges) 28 October 2013
    • NOWHERE MAN (27 October 2013)
    • KILIÇDAROĞLU THE COLLABORATOR: Shaking Hands With Darkness (8 October 2013)
    • HALK TV'DE YILIN RÖPORTAJI: ESAD'IN ERDOĞAN HAKKINDA HİÇ ANLATMADIKLARI (10/05/2013)
    • ERDOĞAN MEANS "CATASTROPHE" IN ANY LANGUAGE (4 October 2013)
    • IN ANOTHER COUNTRY, IN ANOTHER WORLD (A Gezi Symphony-Prelude) 01-10-2013
    • FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP SAYING “INSHALLAH” (28 September 2013)
    • Din Hanesini Sildirdi (Kimlik): "BAŞBAKAN MÜSLÜMANSA BEN DEĞİLİM" 21.09.2013
    • The Ergenekon Verdicts: Chronicle of an Injustice Foretold (Gareth Jenkins)
    • TURKEY’S POOR PLAYER (23 August 2013)
    • DEMOCRATIC DEMONS (17 August 2013)
    • HAPPY DAY (3 August 2013)
    • UNDER OCCUPATION: A MANIFESTO (11 August 2013)
    • LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (28 July 2013)
    • “DEAR ERDOĞAN”— Letters from the World (26 July 2013)
    • IN OUR STARS (12 July 2013)
    • MY APPEAL TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE by Admiral Türker Ertürk (Ret.)
    • The American Ambassador (20 June 2013
    • TURKEY’S DEAD MAN TALKING (1 July 2013)
    • Alain Badiou--Türkiye: Gerçek Bir Tarihi İsyan Mı? (19 Haziran 2013)
    • Alain Badiou--Turkey: A Genuine Historical Riot? (19 June 2013)
    • ERDOĞAN ON THE HORNS (18 June 2013)
    • GASSING WHILE BEING GASSED--A CONVERSATION
    • Ataturk Youth Earthquake Not A Turkish Spring (14 June 2013)
    • If They Are Not Turkish, What Are They (11 June 2013)
    • Fighting Words (11 June 2013)
    • A Montage: Taksim-Gezi Parkı Direnmiş (Resistance)
    • Barricade Defense
    • Taksim-Gezi Parkı Direnmiş (Resistance)
    • What happens to a dream deferred? Ertelenmiş bir düş ne olur? 8 June 2013
    • Turkish Youth Cross Their Rubicon - 6 June 2013
    • ERDOĞAN: TURKEYS “MARGINAL” MAN (4 June 2013)
    • Ayranı Fazla Çekince (Bekir Coşkun-30 Mayıs 2013)
    • ÜMİT UMUTU VERİR 24 Mart 2013
    • Killer Democracy, a portrait
    • Letter to The Honorable Abdullah Gül, president of Republic of Turkey
    • İYİ ŞEKER BAYRAMLAR!!!! AKP'DEN (19/8/2012)
    • KILLERS! My last letter to Obama. (20 December 2013)
    • UCUBE (11/8/2012)
    • Olympic Women (11/8/2012)
    • OBAMABALL: an open letter to the President of the United States (2 August 2012)
    • Sinatra Dedicates One to Ataturk (17 May 2012)
    • As He Lay Dying (14 May 2012)
    • Viva 19 Mayis! Haydi gel! Bizimle ol!
    • It's 19 May...Know Your Enemy! (11 May 2012)
    • America,Turkey--Natural Born Killers
    • I'm as mad as hell... (2 April 2012)
    • ARAB SPRING=AMERICAN NIGHTMARE
    • General Asymmetrica (12 March 2012)
    • Happy World Women's Day in Turkey (8 March 2012)
    • Holy Terror 6 March 2012
    • Kusura Bakma Patron (Bekir Coşkun) 1 Mart 2012
    • The Second Coming of Mustafa Kemal
    • My e-mail note from Barack Obama (12/19/11) and my response
    • High Ground
    • Women's Volleyball Team-the only winners
    • MEDIA ALERT: ATATURK SOCIETIES OF THE USA AND THE UNITED KINGDOM (6 June 2011)
    • BASIN BILDIRISI: AMERİKA VE İNGİLTERE ATATÜRK DERNEKLERİ (6 Haziran 2011)
    • Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Fascist Moustache
    • Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Fascist
    • Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird (Wallace Stevens)
    • Epitaph on a Tyrant (W.H. Auden)
    • Ryan Interview: Kanal B, Bilmek Gerek, 28 March 2011
    • Ergenekon Headquarters (karargâh)
    • When the Nazis Came: 8 March 2011
    • Letter to President Obama: 20 Jan. 2009
    • (Türkçe) Letter to President Obama: 20 Jan. 2009
    • Letter to President Obama: 20 Oct. 2009
    • Letter to President Obama: 3 Jan. 2010
    • Letter to President Obama: 20 July 2010
    • (Türkçe) Letter to President Obama: 3 Jan. 2010
    • (Türkçe) Letter to President Obama: 20 Temmuz 2010
    • Letter to US Ambassador Francis J. Ricciardone: 18 Feb. 2011
    • Follow-up Letter to Ambassador Francis J. Ricciardone: 12 March 2011
    • Letter to US Senator Mark Udall: 12 Feb. 2011
    • Silivri Concentration Camp--Monkeys in Wonderland: 18 August 2010
    • Islam, Secularism and the Battle for Turkey’s Future
    • Turkey-Slouching in Democracy- 25 March 2009
    • WHAT PERCENTAGE OF US ARE STUPID? 5 October 2009
    • The Bloody Streets of Populous Istanbul-17 December 2008
    • Headscarves, Turbans: The Ocular Proof-5 February 2008
    • Portrait of Ataturk-29 November 2006
    • Cool Turkey-7 December 2004
    • Making Hash of Turkish Democracy-16 September 2005
    • Today's Men-10 March 2003
    • Just Keep Saying No, Turkey-9 January 2003
    • Kidnapped (17/8/2012)
  • The Dead
    • AND SO PASSES A WOMAN’S LIFE IN TURKEY (21 October 2014)
    • Bury My Heart At Heartbreak
    • "Adil" means "just" in Arabic (18 July 2012)
    • THERE WILL BE NO ICE CREAM IN DAMASCUS THIS LOVELY EVENING (14 June 2013)
    • IN ISTANBUL A DOORMAN DIES (31 January 2014)
    • İSTANBUL'DA BİR APARTMAN GÖREVLİSİ ÖLÜR (31 Ocak 2014)
    • "Terrorist Pietá"
    • NOTHING BUT MARGARET (9 May 2014)
    • August 6, 1945 (6 August 2012)
    • BREATHLESS IN AMERICA (5 December 2013)
    • JFK DIES FOR THESE SINS (27 December 2013)
  • Short Fiction
    • Benediction
    • ORIENTA
    • Wellspring-"Stealing Apples"
    • INTENSIVE CARE
  • Music
    • GYPSY- All I Need Is the Girl (1989)
    • American Pie (Don Mclean)
    • BACH
    • Jazz
    • Dave Brubeck-In Memoriam
    • Bix Beiderbecke
    • Poetry in Music: The Lyrics of Lorenz Hart >
      • A Ship Without A Sail
      • Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered
      • I Could Write A Book
      • I Didn't Know What Time It Was
      • It Never Entered My Mind
      • I Wish I Were In Love Again
      • Mountain Greenery
      • My Romance
      • Spring Is Here
      • Ten Cents A Dance
      • Wait Till You See Her
      • Where Or When
      • You're Nearer
    • SINATRA >
      • Only the Lonely
      • Sinatra's Greatest Hits
      • GET HAPPY, WRAP YOUR TROUBLES IN DREAMS
  • Poetry
    • TO THE IRANIAN KIDS BUSTED ON EXCESSIVE HAPPINESS CHARGE BY TEHRAN’S KORANIC KOPS (22 May 2014)
    • AMERICA
    • Joe the Biden Eats the Bison (21/01/2013)
    • A poem by Etheridge Knight
    • Apprehension in the Bronx Botanical Garden
    • A Shine on the Quay at Üsküdar
    • Atget Dans La Rue De Bac
    • Ballgame
    • Like Kerim
    • Pandemonium
    • Pines
    • Starry Night
    • Senseless, Remembering
    • Six Life Sentences
    • That Russian Woman in the Caffé Taci
    • The Cliffhouse on San Francisco Bay
    • Traitor
    • World Series Obsequies
  • On Peace
    • A WAR ON WARMONGERS, A “JEFFERSONIAN” REBELLION (April 4, 2016)
    • WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A SOCIALIST by Chris Hedges (21 September 2015)
    • THE YOUNG EURO CLASSIC PEACE ORCHESTRA
    • MY PLEA FOR JUSTICE TO THE INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL COURT (14 January 2015)
    • Toxic Legacy of US Assault on Fallujah ‘Worse than Hiroshima’ 15 October 2014
    • PRESS RELEASE: WAR CRIMES CHARGES FILED (8 October 2014)
    • Criminal Complaint: International Criminal Court, 6 October 2014
    • What I'd Like to See on Front Pages of Newspapers (By Noam Chomsky)
    • THE NOBEL OBAMA (2 September 2013)
    • My Vote For President: 2012
    • American Democracy
    • Democratic Socialism
  • On America
    • BRONX GIRL OUSTS 10-TERM DEMOCRAT POLITICAL BOSS!
    • The United States of America: Land of internment camps
    • THIS IS AMERICA!
    • MY DISGUST AND DESPAIR ABOUT TRUMP'S SCHEME TO DESTROY THE V.A.
    • MY LETTER TO SENATOR CHARLES SCHUMER , 3 February 2017
    • DONALD DEMENTIA
    • Service Academy Graduates Against the War
    • U.S. Service Academy Graduates Oppose Bombing Syria (5 September 2013)
    • SLAUGHTER IN SYRIA: War Crimes Charges against Turkey and America
    • SLAUGHTER IN SYRIA: APPENDICES TO CRIMINAL COMPLAINT TO I.C.C.
    • NO WAY OUT YOU NO GOOD PSEUDO-AMERICAN NEOCON NUDNIK APPARATCHIKS! CATCH ME IF YOU DARE!
    • WILLIE MAYS FOR PRESIDENT! (SEPTEMBER 24, 2016)
    • COUNT ME OUT, BERNIE! NO MORE $3 CONTRIBUTIONS! March 2, 2016
    • The atrocities of ISIS and the US wars of sociocide (26 August 2015)
    • WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT U.S. FOREIGN POLICY (25 August 2015)
    • KILLING RAGHEADS FOR JESUS (By Chris Hedges) (26 January 2015)
    • The Meaning of July Fourth for the Negro by Frederick Douglass
    • THOMAS PAINE, OUR CONTEMPORARY (27 May 2014)
    • JAMES SALTER
    • BEFORE A SUMMER SUN >
      • Prologue
      • 4. Teaching Bloody Instructions
      • 8. The Doctrine of Discovery
      • 11. Crazed from the Cradle
      • 15. The Necessary Ending of the American Indian
    • JFK >
      • JFK Files: Cover-Up Continues of President’s Assassination
      • JFK: Address to the Greater Houston Ministerial Association (12 September 1960)
      • JFK: American University Commencement Address (10 June 1963)
      • JFK HEALTH CARE SPEECH (May 20, 1962)
    • The CIA and the Media
    • The End Of Democracy As We Knew It (Bernd Hamm)
  • On War
    • DON’T CRY TOO MUCH FOR BELGIUM 29 March 2016
    • “COUNTERPRODUCTIVE?" Russia and the Warring in Syria (by Gary Leupp) (23 September 2015)
    • DEBATE: THE REFUGEE CRISIS IN EUROPE (Press TV) James Ryan and Richard Millett (8 September 2015)
    • IT IS TIME TO ARREST THE WAR CRIMINALS, OBAMA AND ERDOGAN. NOW! (28 August 2015)
    • Neither Truth Nor Consequence - 21 Nov 2006
    • MACHIAVELLI VOMITS: Obama and Erdogan Wallow In It (6 August 2015)
    • DRESSED TO KILL SYRIANS AND TRUTH AND US (25 July 2015)
    • Preparing the Battlefield by Seymour M. Hersh (July 7, 2008) The New Yorker
    • THE CHILDREN OF GAZA (2 August 2014)
    • PINK FLOYD: “Eyeless in Gaza, at the mill with slaves” (13 July 2014)
    • THE RHETORIC OF VIOLENCE by Chris Hedges (22 April 2014)
    • THE WORLD AS SEEN FROM THE TOP OF A BARRICADE (22 February 2014)
    • Can It Get Any Worse? (9 September 2013)
    • WAR TALK by West Point Graduates Against the War (November 2006, a radio interview) posted 27 August 2013
    • GOOD MOURNING AMERICA (26 August 2013)
    • TURKISH DECEIT: Recep Tayyip Erdoğan's Allah's Boys
    • HIROSHIMA (6 August 2012)
    • AMERICA’S WAR WHORES' REWARD (30 July 2012)
    • AMERICA’S WAR-HORSE HARLOTS (29 June 2012)
    • Hillary the Hypocrite
    • "Hope" a speech by Chris Hedges
    • Epitaph for the Unknown Soldier (W.H. Auden)
    • Speaking French-1 April 2003
    • PALESTINIANS: "HUMAN DUST" (30 June 2003)
    • More Foul Play-27 March 2003
    • A Day in the Life-25 March 2003
    • The Return of the Has-Beens and the Never-Was-3 March 2003
    • The True Enemy-23 January 2003
  • On West Point
    • GREETING IKE
    • GRAY DAY SASHAY
    • WHO IS MY FATHER IN THIS WORLD?
    • WEST POINT TO HONOR DISHONORABLE GEORGE W. BUSH
    • OBAMA VISITS WEST POINT THEN LIES, CHEATS AND STEALS (6 June 2014)
    • West Point Graduates Organize Against The War - 21 April 2006
    • On West Point, War and Pizza - 6 May 2006
    • Now Is The Time - 12 May 2006
    • Good Neighbor Senator Sessions Walls Out Mexico . . . and Robert Frost - 19 May 2006
    • Cadet Bush at West Point: Screw that chin in, beanhead! - 1 June 2006
    • Guantánamo: The Subject Was Linens- 15 June 2006
    • Impeach the President of the United States - 7 October 2006
    • Election Eve Daze--Hanging in There Together - 6 November 2006
    • Peace Award Remarks - 12 November 2006 - Syracuse, New York
    • George W. MacBush–Serial Murderer - 15 December 2006
    • Abolish It! - 9 Feb 2007
  • Literary Criticism
    • American Book Review
    • Mrs. Ramsay's Wedge: A View of Woolf's "To the Lighthouse"
  • Paintings
    • "Genuine Fake"--"Gerçik Taklit"
    • EQUAL RIGHTS! ... EŞİT HAKLAR!
    • "Progress"--"İlerleme"
    • "Her Şey Ortada"
    • Resimler (7/8/2012)
  • Presentations-Papers
    • Boğaziçi University-Symposium
  • For Reasons Unknown
    • THE ISRAELI-AMERICAN KILLING MACHINE (19 July 2014)
    • I-THE FRAME-UP (Mustafa Kemal Atatürk on Trial) 8 January 2009
    • II-THE ARRAIGNMENT (Mustafa Kemal Atatürk on Trial) 9 January 2009
    • III-ATATÜRK APPEARS (Mustafa Kemal Atatürk on Trial) 26 January 2009
    • How Old Are You? 4 May 2009
    • İŞTE!!! Kurmay Albay Dursun Çiçek!!! (28 October 2009)
    • A. K. P-NESS: The Condition of Being A.K.P. (27 October 2009)
  • On Living
    • "Art, Truth & Politics" by Harold Pinter (1930-2008)
    • The Power of Imagination (Chris Hedges-13 May 2014)
    • WE ARE ALL ONE
    • The Story of Stuff-What Needs To Be Done (10 May 2012)
    • An Arab Springtime? by Samir Amin
    • From Resistance to Revolution
  • Photographs
    • Istanbul
  • Kidnapped (17/8/2012)
Picture
Margaret, my mother, at Lake Osceola, New York. 1938. Cassidy the Wonder Dog poses quietly.
9 May 2014--
Today, a dismal Istanbul Friday, gray, raining, cold, two days before Mother’s Day, and I think of my mother, gone three years. What can one do when there is no longer a mother? I mean, I was born the day before Mothers' Day. And every eleven years or so the days converge. So it will be two days hence. 
My mother died three years ago. Of course, I spoke for her at the funeral. But my words were weak and distracted, eulogizing words.  It wasn’t how I wanted to say goodbye, not at all.  In fact, I had written something entirely different for her back then, an obituary, perhaps, I don’t know. But today, in the middle of my damp, drizzly thinking, my mind again came upon her. And I remembered what I had written about her then and didn’t say aloud. Now I will, below. And in two days Margaret and I will once again have a fleeting convergence of my birthday and Mothers' Day as this world keeps turning.  JR



NOTHING BUT MARGARET

Some years ago, at another dreary family burial, my mother stood beside a male cousin of similar age. Sagely nodding at the coffin being lowered he said, “Well, Margaret, I guess that leaves the two of us.” My mother spun on her heel, looked him dead in the eye, her open palm beckoning forward, “Gentlemen first,” she said.  

How would my quick-witted mother, who called everyone darling, describe this day, the day of her burial? I’d like to think that she’d say what the great boxing champion Joe Louis said about a fleet-footed opponent: You can run but you can’t hide. 

But how she ran! How does one capture in a few minutes a life lived for almost a century? What was the essence of this woman, my mother?

I begin with the “essence” of the front page of the New York Times on the day she was born, 17 July 1918.
“All day long the battle has been raging furiously at many points on the front of the new German offensive, from Château Thierry to the Argonne.”

A grim beginning, indeed.

And now, almost 93 years later, on the day she died, on a Good Friday that hinted of spring in a cold Saratoga Springs, the New York Times headline read: 
“New Poll Shows Darkening Mood Across America.”

Such was the violent world she was born into, and we all live in. Such is the darkening world she left.

But that was not my mother’s world. Her world was safe and optimistic, a world of family and friends. It was a comforting social world called a “neighborhood.”  Where family members were within walking distance or a short bus ride away. A place where the butcher or grocer might live next door. Things seemed clearer back then, less complicated, more direct.   

“Her name is Margaret!” So said her mother, my grandmother, Nell Potter, in July 1918. She was quite clear on the matter. “It’s not Margie or Maggie or Peggy or Peg. My daughter’s name is Margaret!”

My mother told this vignette two weeks ago in response to a question from a nurse about what people called her, more familiarly, besides Margaret. When my mother had finished explaining a few things I looked at the nurse’s nametag—it read “Peggy.”

My grandmother didn’t like nicknames for her firstborn daughter. But while her own name was Ellen, everyone called her Nell, and sometimes even Nellie. No one ever called her Ellen. And she never complained about it. I guess if you’re really searching for consistency, don’t look for it in families.

My mother was proud of her name and loved her namesake grandmother, my great-grandmother, Margaret. She told me how she would hug her legs, burying her face in her crisply starched white apron. The wonderment of being safe and loved, my mother held such memories, such powerful lifelong yearnings. And she spoke to me of these things. For her, the world was young and fresh and smelled like spring and starched white aprons.


My mother could easily have been named Patience or Love or Charity or Hope. That’s what they did in the old days when virtuous names were in fashion. She was easily all of those. She could have been named Steadfast or Courageous or Generous. Margaret could have been named Sunshine, for indeed, as Juliet was Romeo’s sun, so was my mother mine. She lived in the light, despite the world, its heartache, its disease, its sadness, its death. She seemed never shaken.

By her words, life seemed like one grand, ironic romance, always with a twist, an O. Henry short story. 
PictureMargaret. April 24, 1920,
Here’s one: 
Headline: Two-year-old girl introduced to future husband by mother.  

It was true! She met my father-to-be on a Bronx street corner in 1920. She was two and in a carriage. He was nine, no doubt chucking a baseball into an old mitt. Their mothers—my future grandmothers—were neighbors on Wales Avenue and 149th Street. And then, as is so usual, time passed. Eighteen years later they unwittingly met again, astonished that they had already crossed paths so young. They promptly fell in love, married. And I was born a year after that, in 1940, the day before Mother’s Day. Such an eager child I was, missing a lifelong irony by 24 hours.

Then all hell descended.

She endured her young motherhood beset by childhood illnesses, some common some not. Scarlet Fever and hearing loss. Polio and a limping leg. Allergies. Mumps. Measles. Chicken Pox. Whooping cough, which we brothers so generously gave to our infant sister. Our house raged like a fever hospital in Ireland during the Potato Famine. But I remember my mother’s unfailing good humor and the scent of her perfume when she would lean over my bed to give me ginger ale. She read Treasure Island to me when I was four with the enthusiasm of an auditioning starlet. Pinocchio, too. And she’d tweak my nose when Pinocchio would tell a lie. “You’re not made of wood,” she said to me ever-reassuring, “You’re a real boy.”

Despite my being a real boy, and my equally real brother and sister, my mother developed an outside career. I don’t remember exactly when it began. Recently, I saw her old resume. There was an entry about her being the business manager of a bowling alley. My mother worked in a bowling alley? It must have been true. But I remain astonished to this moment. Who ever knew that?

PictureMargaret. Oakland Beach, New Jersey, 1947
My mother loved people. She was drawn irresistibly to that work…interviewing, hiring, supervising. Sometimes firing, I suppose, although I can’t imagine her doing that. She was a creator not a destroyer. Her last position was a 16-year stint as Personnel Director at Phelps Memorial Hospital in Sleepy Hollow. In that magical spirit of Irish generosity or loyalty, some of her friends suddenly began to appear as employees. She even hired a grandson to work summers pushing a lawnmower around the hospital grounds. She called him a “landscaper,” always lending a dignity to every endeavor, as she did to life. 

Need something? Ask Margaret. She was a mover. When I was in high school, she worked on the election board. She met people. She knew people. She was a master of the telephone. She kept in touch. Lunched with the girls—her high school girl friends. “Girls?” my father would say… “Some girls.” 

But they were “girls.” Young-in-spirit women with pizzazz, gumption and guts, living those good days out loud, striding into the fleeting sun, all of them as fresh as springtime. 

Margaret was life. She loved a Gershwin tune and kicking up her heels with my father, the two of them gliding like ice skaters. And cracking jokes, a wit like a scalpel. I remember all of it. All of it…She had such great expectations, and not for herself either. 

Grandchildren came, then great-grandchildren. On she trekked, active, engaged, sharp to the end. She was the self-chosen family historian. She knew where all the juicy bits lay, but never betrayed a confidence. 

All of us grieve at our loss. But we should also consider celebrating our gain. The gain in having lived in a share of her long life, a life so admirably lived.

Of such grand stuff was this woman, my mother. Her name was Margaret…and nothing but...




26 April 2011
JR



Picture
1971. Margaret, my father Jim, my children, a doll named Big Bonnie



Margaret Carmel Ryan

17 July 1918 - 22 April 2011



A GERSHWIN TUNE FOR MY MOTHER

'S WONDERFUL 
THANKS AND HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY et cetera

Picture
1941
Picture
Picture
My Mother Celebrating Her 90th Birthday at Saratoga Racetrack, August 2008